A Little Bit Mad

you're here for the story, right?

castle fanfiction, castle/beckett - if I didn't know better.
gen: book and glasses.
if I didn't know better
Notes: Okay hi guys. I am 99% sure this is not what anyone had in mind when they were encouraging me to write, but alas, it's the first 500 838 words I've written all week. (Okay, so maybe I went back and added sex. What. It is me.) So, a ficlet based on the promo for Always. (Title from the Civil Wars song.)

She has too many words. She has too few.Collapse )

warehouse 13 fanfiction, myka/h.g. - let the past strike us and go.
gen: book and glasses.
let the past strike us and go
Author's Notes: This is not just porn. Lol jk it totally is! There is also a gross amount of squishy feelings though. I can't tell what I'm more ashamed of. I'd like to blame it on something, but no, it was all me. It started with a pair of lace gloves. Fairly innocent? Yes. Kinda sweet. In a 'Myka wears gloves for H.G. ~sexually, because sometimes she misses Victorian England' kinda way. And then I realised this. And then before I knew it I was writing this in a lecture on child development. Right. Let's not psychoanalyse, I'm sure we'll find nothing good.

It'd be best if you just went and watched the Yellowstone scene in Reset about 100 times to get a feel for what I like to call Myka's dangerous bedroom voice before you read this, for the purposes of adding authenticity to the characterisation. On that note, complicated analysis of the power dynamic in Myka and H.G.'s sex life welcome in the comments.

Okay. Let's do this.

Warning for erotic asphyxiation. (I cannot believe I just typed that.) And feelings.

She finds the gloves in a vintage store in Kansas.Collapse )

warehouse 13 fanfiction, myka/h.g. - you fit me better than my favourite sweater.
gen: book and glasses.
you fit me better than my favourite sweater.
Author's Notes: First thing I complete in this fandom and it's both ridiculous and porn. Colour nobody surprised. Right so, story: once upon a time there was a kink meme and in that kink meme was a prompt that suggested H.G. might enjoy more modern forms of dancing (lbr, vertical sex) and then that prompt wormed its way into my brain and said Paula, stop writing all the serious legitimate fic you are writing and write a stupid porn battle fill instead. Except this is 7000 words and that porn battle is meant to be anonymous (and I just do not believe in not signing my name on my porn, xoxo) - so.

A) This is ridiculous. It's sex that decided, at the last minute, that it wanted to have feelings. B) I struggled with the voices. C) Yes, I know the artefact involved is gratuitous and unexplained, that's because I was too lazy, don't judge. D) I was going to call this from the back now from the front for reasons that will become obvious and if you know what song that is from you will totally (and rightly) judge me but you know. If you want a bit of seedy hip hop to get you in a seedy nightclub sex fic kind of mood, go right ahead. E) Season 3 finale was sad. Let's just pretend that all gets resolved 'kay? F) There is a tiny bit of weird consent stuff because I like tropes and an artefact made them do it. It's in the context of a highly consensual sex scene, but still. TW for dubcon because tbh, that's what it looks like to me. (I could be really sensitive to this.)

A sex artefact. She's been sent to San Francisco with her with her reincarnated, sort-of, maybe, once-upon-a-time almost - whatever, it is so far beyond complicated...Collapse )

grey's anatomy fanfiction, mark/addison, derek, amelia - we are all museums of fear [6/12].
gen: book and glasses.
We Are All Museums Of Fear: Chapter Five
Author's Notes: For M, who rightly nudged me on Twitter to continue. Awful awful updater. I know.

Chapter Five.Collapse )

castle fanfiction, castle/sophia - you were never meant for me.
gen: book and glasses.
you were never meant for me
Author's Notes: Okay, I know. I've written nothing at all in a week and then I drop this on you but HEAR ME OUT. Back story is the best? And I just love an ill-fated love story and Castle and Sophia obviously have ~history and I needed to write my version of that before Linchpin ruined it with canon. No facts were checked in the making of this story. Okay great, carry on.

For complete referencing, thanks to Mary Oliver for being awesome and for this which is amazing and also true which makes it more amazing.

(Vaguely part of this new 'series' I am planning - which basically means, I may write some more things like this in the future but please don't hold you breath for purposes of maintaining your health - entitled before you were you - which is from this - about all of Castle and Beckett's past romances. You know, to help fandom come to terms with the concept. Le sigh.)

They have no lynchpin.Collapse )

castle fanfiction, beckett/sophia conrad - kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.
gen: book and glasses.
kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.

notes: there are spoilers for Pandora ahead. this is saved on my computer as lol... because... really, it's fairly ridiculous. it was spawned by this and the subsequent encouragement from various wonderful human beings with good taste because it is a truth universally acknowledged that Jennifer Beals must be shipped with anyone in the same frame, but preferrably with another lady because idk, The L Word probably. Also this happened. And they are adorable.

So. In summary: porn. Porn of Beckett/vodka/Sophia Conrad/(Castle in mind not body). Because some fangirls see things as they are and say why - I dream things that never were and ask why not.

P to the S. Title from the Bible. Troll fucking face.

usually it takes her at least a few more drinks to wonder just how different her life would've been if she'd accepted her offer from Smith instead of the one from StanfordCollapse )

castle fanfiction, castle/beckett - you'll be the rhythm and i'll be the beat.
gen: book and glasses.
You'll be the rhythm and I'll be the beat
Author's Notes: Porn. It must be Tuesday. fic-a-thon again, because there was this prompt - (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love - and then this came to me IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHILDREN'S FILM. (Side note: The Swan Princess, still excellent.) I don't know what that says about me. In any case, woe, I didn't use the actual line (which actually sounds completely 100% Castle) but I think the basic premise is still heartily embraced. Enjoy?

You’re so agreeable when I fuck your brains out.Collapse )

castle fanfiction, castle/beckett - one of two [3/?]
gen: book and glasses.
one of two (or probability 101 – beating the odds)
Author's Notes: Remember Dial M For Murder? I wouldn't blame you if you don't, it was what? Three weeks ago now? So this might possibly be the latest post-ep ever. However unfortunately I have this annoying real life and there was this fic-a-thon that made me annoying productive at things other than things I am already writing and this actually took me longer than I thought it would, since I basically knew exactly how it was going to go as soon as I saw the episode. It's a series of deleted scenes, but I've quoted the dialogue that happens between each one so you should be able to piece it around the episode fairly easily (by the description of Beckett's outfits as she takes them off if nothing else...)

I don't entirely like it, because I think it's only cohesive as a narrative(/not awkwardly paced) if you fit it really closely into the show, but I wasn't sure how else to write it to smooth over the edges. Also I've felt a bit writer's block-y lately and I always hate it when things feel forced and do you know how hard it is to write phone sex when you have houseguests? You probably don't. Plus cross-posting to is ruining my ~artistic integrity~ because people there are like I love how you write sex that isn't gratuitous but then my brain is like write phone sex lol AND HOW IS THAT MEANT TO BE UN-GRATUITOUS. Also I kept not saying cock because idk. I feel like I need to PG myself for that website. I've sold out man.

Anyway. I hope you enjoy it even if I don't, so much.

Follows this and then this. The tl;dr premise is that Castle and Beckett are fumbling their way from sex to a relationship before the episode begins.

So what do you think? Should I give up my day job?Collapse )

grey's anatomy fanfiction, mark/addison - and then we found our bodies speaking loud.
gen: book and glasses.
and then we found our bodies speaking loud
Notes: Vaguely set after 3.08, which is the episode in which the infamous pickle banter occurs. However. Having not re-watched the episode possibly ever (?) and having last watched it in 2006, I promise no accuracy with respect to canon. For openended's prompt at the Multi-Fandom TFLN fic-a-thon. Title from this (because while apt, the bittersweet between my teeth seemed like a really, really terrible pun and this really has enough of those already. I apologise. This is actually called puns about pickles that never should have happened.docx on my computer. Fair warning.)

The text was (239): All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth.. You can see where this is going right. I was going to write something that wasn't porn this afternoon. But then I didn't instead.

Did you mean it, when you said I couldn’t have your pickle?Collapse )

castle fanfiction, castle/beckett - do you want to walk my crime scene?
gen: book and glasses.
do you want to walk my crime scene?
Notes: It's already 11 o'clock and I have done nothing today except write this. This is about how one time Castle and Beckett follow up on a lead that goes nowhere so they follow up on each other in the back seat of her car. There's really no other way of putting it.

For the fic-a-thon again, but someone already filled the prompt and it's amazing and the opposite of this (by which I mean, has literary merit and is intellectual) so go read it first, possibly instead of this. There are so many coffee-making sex puns, you do not understand how perfect it is.

Okay. Right. Now for something decidedly not intellectual. TFLN prompt was: (317): I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

I like that because it works on two levels.Collapse )


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